Online Parent Support Chat

14.5.10

I am the step mother of a very defiant 17 year old...

I am the step mother of a very defiant 17 year old. He just left our home again for the numerous times to go stay with his mother. He was diagnosed 10 years ago of being bi-polar he is very high strung and easily angered. Five doctors and many therapists later....His biological mother took him off all his meds...Although, he still had problems none was as severe as her messing with the medicine. Not being a medical professional I really don't even know if medicine was all that helpful, but it did calm him somewhat and we did see some happiness from him. When his mother removed all the medicine we seed a troubled teen go from (tolerable bad) to worse. Where I don't feel safe in my home at all. This is my husband’s fear of her inability to parent him correctly.

I have gone through many years of physical and emotional abuse from him so when he leaves it is a tremendous relief. His father on the other hand worries endlessly because of his ex wife's parenting abilities (very poor) He thinks that she will only hold him back rather than trying to get him to succeed. Every parent’s desire.

Although my husband loves his son unconditionally he enables his bad behavior through his own emotional ties. The son has learned in a very large way how to manipulate his dad. Just this week we called the police on him twice because of his irate behavior. He uses such horrible language and screams and throws things around to get what he wants. Even though we would love to give him what he wants, morally we can't. He wants permission to have sex with his 14 or 15 year old girlfriend. Which we have thrown in the towel with that because the biological mom allows that sort of thing, and the girlfriend’s mom obviously don't mind either because she has allowed him to spend the night with her. The saying don't try to fight a battle you can't win, well that is where we are on that one.

We walk on egg shells wondering when he will strike out. As I said prior I am victim of domestic violence from his assaults he has punched me in the face knocked me down the stairs, choked me nearly to passing out and because I didn't have the mental strength of my own I didn't call the law, and of course neither did his dad. All this I am ashamed of but I am going on with my life I feel stronger now than ever and believe it or not I am always looking for ways to try to get him the help he needs. He was put on probation two times for the smaller attacks on me.

My Out-of-Control Stepson

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