Online Parent Support Chat

27.5.10

Parenting Problems

My problem with the second one 17 years old but before I go more on my story I would like to introduce myself and my husband to you first full you must know Egyptian means ,Egyptian is very strict families, love their kids to obey there orders and if not they allowed to be hit as behaviour dieseline way of teaching them a lesson and withdraw any goods they allow for them like taking their mobile ,not buying any wishing things they want, not allowing them out, allot of things such but for us we grown that way in Egypt. We immigrate to Australia 15 and half years ago we did not got support from any one even the church we found our way after bad advice from bad thoughtful people we worked hard my husband as a chef and I am as housekeeping we find it hard with 2 littlie kids in your hand we suffer in where we can leave them in good hand I love my kids so much so I was always worry mum all the time and stressed person and I have to work the life cannot go on one hand it must be our 2 hands I worked hard, my time with kids was short plus I am nerves person I have not found love as will so I could not gave love to them but I love them in my heart but I could not show it for some reason I really do not know why, I do not want to look weak in front of them or showing the love means , It’s hard with me I do not know why .The life keep talking us from stage to stage .

When my oldest son turned 15 things start going wrong number 1 his ADHD having difficulty learning he hates school does not like study and that’s not acceptable for Egyptian .Egyptian must go to school and get there degree and after you can do what you want , it took us a lot of trying programs with specialist and counselling but nothing ever go right he lift school in year 10 start hanging around with bad groups running away from home and I use to run after him everywhere we been like tom and jerry I am the only one can find him where ever he is, check on his friends things like that ,he lift the house for one month I know nothing of what he doing at all I know where he stayed and call him to check on him , one day he came home with his bag ad another problem start appear what we should do to help him , we tried to push him going back to school but he hate it I pushed him to take classes in one of Australian institute to push him find a way for his future .Now he is 20 with no study , work or future but he drop a lot of bad friends minimise them he still have some bad friends but he knows much better about his life but he do not know what he should do for leaving he good now but I feel sorry for him because he lost years of his life and achieved nothing ,still not sure what to do or even what to study or work.

With this boy’s problem I missed on my second one the girl, but she showed me she is good minded and good kid and supportive all through all this stressful ,bad, hard , sickness time in my life she always shows mature attitude but in the year 9&10 her teacher always complain about her answering back and bad attitude against her teachers she always says it is a bad school take me to a public school they really good, I know the public school always have a top teachers in the state so I said we will gave it a try specially we moved houses ,in the beginning of year 11 the school gave me a lot of complain like she’s not finishing her home work or handing them on time we start going to specialists and therapist and taking medication for concentration and did really help she start improving her work her attitude with her teacher going really will her score is improved and her final results was very good ,she wants to go into law and by end of year 11 things goes wrong, after finishing the school she wants to go out a lot, one night I wake up after hearing mobile ringing I went to see how’s mobile is this ringing at 2 o’clock in the morning I went to my son’s room he said not mine I went to my daughter to ask her but no respond I took the cover off it was the billow I checked the house before waking up every one no trace for her I screamed sandy’s not home every one was looking in deferent location , and when I start to take the car key to run to the street to look for her she called mum I am here we all wounder where did she came from we searched the house all over any way she was on out cloth we did not believe what she said to us that she was in the back yard having fresh air ? fresh air in full out cloth on and make up? We screamed to her and asking who do you been with she keep saying no one any way we made the night goes.

The next day she said I will tell u the true I was smoking and was scare to tell you, I made a deal with her we will quit together at the same time I made my promise but she did not. I check on her on another night she was not there again and in two mints she came saying same story but we did not believe her and we or me reach the anger points we start hitting her and giving order not going out I slept in her room and somehow she manage to run away but for longer, saying I am not coming back I called her found her as tom and jerry way she said do not worry I will come back when I calm down, I forgot to tell you we thought strait a way that she having relationship with a boy and we saw a photo of them on her face book and that was the big matter for us we are strict family and having relationship with boy that is not acceptable at all specially his from Ethiopia dark skin background that was the end for me we got angry and she came back home after one week we forced her to have no contact with him at all and she seemed like she really stoped seeing him after my son threaten him by killing him do not forget my son knows where to find a people to help him doing such thing but I am sure he is good heart won’t let him do things like that and scare of going in trebles ,but if he start he well ,he knows a lot of hill angels people they are bad and they cannot do anything they above the law and the police have no such a way to deal with them . any way she came home we made a deal we will try to trust her but she must obey our rules and gave her some freedom, we did but on the new-year eve she said do not make a plan I am going in my friend’s house she having a party and all the girls will sleep over in her place after but we said take your time but no sleeping over we will pick u up when u done she said ok and her dad asked her for the address she replied when I see her I will gave it to you we waited for her call to gave us the address but she did not I called her and said where are you and how u with and where is the address she said I am not going to gave it to you and she hang up on me, it was a shock for me being rude that much with no respect at all it did hurts me.

I waited a bit to get over it and I start call one of her friends going to the same party but she did not answer I did not stop until she answer her friends phone say stop calling my friend I am not giving you her or anyone else and hang up on me again another shock for me. any way she came the next day home I checked her bag it was going out cloth inside, not home party cloth I got angry I start screaming and hitting her and said you not going out any more you will come with me at work every day and no more talking to those girls anymore and I lock her with us waiting for our priest to come to be involved in this but somehow she snick her way out again but this time I did not try calling her or any of us, we said leave her until she find it hard to leave without money, family or enough cloth she has to come home with her full decision to be back home while she insisting to go to university. Now tell me how is this could happened in three weeks changing her and our life upside down I did not finish with her brother yet to face another problem in my life I cannot take it any more I cannot handle this and tom and jerry way not working with her I do not even have the gout to do it anymore.

I want to know how your program could help my case considering our strict life and following our rules at the same time , bad reputation in our community means the end of her future she will never get married or have a good friends from church or even people saying hello to her that will finish her off not by my hand but with her old close friend from church please respond to me e-mail explain how your program actually can help me and this is not sort of commercial add for money I lost hips of money running after doctors , programs, medication and losing my health day after day .

Thank you and forgave my English it is really bad try to understand my point I could not wait for someone to help me fixing letters I am trying to get it out of my heart by myself if you could not understand my story fell free to call me on my mobile if you want it for your knowledge I wanted end up my life as I have done before but the god gave me another chance of life but I am really desperate and can do it again I am hopeless and stressed women in the earth.

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