About 10 months ago, my husband and I took on the responsibility of being kinship foster carers for my sister's 14 year old step son. However, I do most of the parenting as my husband is out of town 4 days a week. Both his natural mother (who abandoned him at 3 years of age) and his father have signed a court order that they are not willing to care for him any more. It has been a rough road but by applying some of the techniques you suggested we are making progress. He has overcome many obstacles since moving in, including that he no longer smokes, takes drugs or fights. However he still struggles with abandonment, anger, submission to authority or discipline and self image. We did not know him before he came into our home, so we are having to find out who he is now and who he can be but know limited information about how he became the way he is. The biggest hurdle we have at the moment, is that for the last several years, he has been unable to successfu!
lly integrate into the school system and is continually being excluded within a short amount of time because of his inability to submit and control his actions and words towards those in authority. Also, at least once a week (it used to be several times a day!) I still bear the brunt of his frustrations through the verbal onslaught of his anger which seem to be triggered as I try to discipline him when his behaviour is inappropriate or control some of his actions or demands. He often runs away and has even got out of a moving car several times when he is overwhelmed. He refuses to get psychological help so that is why I sought help myself and found your website and resources. Though I raised three children who are well balanced adults, I have found my parenting methods of the past are not as effective with my nephew.