We adopted a boy and his sister in 2001. At that time our son was 5 years old and our daughter was 8 years old. The daughter had abuse and sexal abuse before she was put into the system for adoption. The boy was only 2 before they entered the system. He seems to be normal except for allergies. She has ADHD and is a slow learner and also has allergies. She has had temper tamtams ever since she was little. For a time it was better. We had her tested two years ago and found out that she is behind herself by 4 years. We started her in Sylvan Learning with reading. She was tested and had to start with 4th grade work to catch herself up with her grade. She has been working on math now. She was also tested and had to start at 4th grade. We have also worked on study skills. She is now 17 going on 18 in November. She is very defient. She only helps with work around the house when she gets something in return. If she does not get what she wants, she usually has a temper tamtam. Which now consist of stomping and yelling. When she gets out of control, I hold her down so she does not hurt herself or anyone else.
She started dating at 16. She always seems to pick the boys who are in trouble. She was dating a boy named Philip who ended up in Juvenle Dentention for 14 days for beating his mother. But she did not tell us until later.
She had sex for the first time around Christmas last year. She had a boy, Alan over for an afternoon and asked to go to his house the next weekend. We left her go. I had meet his mother and she seemed fine. But, I was wrong. The mom left them have sex in his bedroom with her in the living room.
It took 6 months to break her from dating Philip. We just found out recently that she had sex with him too after telling us they were not doing it. Now she has a new boyfrield, Steven. We had meet his parents. They seemed very caring and wanted to make sure that the kids were not dating too fast. We trusted the kids to spend some time together. There was someone at home at the time. They had went outside and had sex in a wagon.
She has no sense on right or wrong. We had taken her to a Catholic Youth Conference and thought that it had helped her. But she has gotten worst. She is very resentful at her brother. He is in scouts and goes on trips. She is not in any sports or clubs except 4-H. We have tired to get her in other activites. She seems to be afraid of new things. Like learning to drive. She has only driven 15 hours since December.
When she gets mad now, she threatens to move out when she is 18. I tell her that she needs transportation, money, food, and shelter. So find a job, get your license, and find shelter. She says that she will live in a cardboard box. I said that you better hope it is a warm winter or you will freeze.
I am running out of things to try.
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