Online Parent Support Chat

24.8.10

ODD Daughter !?

Leah, is the second oldest of five children. Her older brother Matt has severe adhd and asperger's syndrome. Hence we have spent many hours and much effort trying to help him. Leah, as a child never did learn to entertain herself. In the car driving or at home, all other kids could be happily entertaining themselves and Leah would get bored and within a few seconds, she would have someone yelling. As a child, if mom said stay out of the mud, that was it, she found the biggest mud puddle she could. At age 12, she wanted a string bikini. Mom and dad said no, so she thought she could walk into a gift shop and steal one. Didn't work out for her. We are a good strong stable family who go to church every week and spend lots of time with the kids. She never got that "responsibility trait" that says "as an older sibling I will help out" Never happened. We couldn't ever leave the kids with her. Trouble would happen for sure. If we left her with someone, she would not listen to them and there would be trouble.

As a teenager, we didn't allow drinking or partying (or so we thought) but for 2 or 3 years she managed to do this anyhow and we missed it. At age 19, she was in a major car accident as a result of texting while driving and nearly lost her life. Broke about 25 bones. She has been living on her own (with roommates) for three years now and trying to go to school. She has had some great plans and ideas but can't stick to one thing longer than 6 months before she is bored and changes her plan. Hence it has cost us alot of money and she still doesn't have anything yet. Last spring we decided to cut her off financially. She went to work and earned lots but got a whole bunch of speeding tickets. She just won't listen to anyone and thinks she knows it all and just keeps messing up. She works herself into the ground but has no discipline to manage her money. Leah is and always has been fiercely independant and we've labled her as the girl who has to learn everything the hard way. But could there be something else? Compared to some of the testimonies on your website, Leah seems pretty mild. I would never considered putting her in a juvenille home.

I always wondered if she had add, but compared to her brother, it just didn't seem to be as bad. She is now 20 and sort of on her own. But she still causes us much stress and worry and I don't know if she'll ever be able to have a long term relationship with someone because almost every job she's had and pretty much every place she's lived, she doesn't get along with people and they want her out.

Will she out grow this thing or is there a way to help her?

My Out-of-Control Daughter

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