Online Parent Support Chat

29.8.10

Out of control daughter...

These are the issues we are currently having with our daughter:

- lying constantly to us
- not coming home for days at a time
- never helping to do anything at home
- does not follow any of our rules
- consequences mean nothing to her
- being disrespectful to her dad & I
- cannot trust her at all
- tells us what we want to hear & does opposite

School is starting on Tuesday and we have a feeling that she will not attend and if she does, it won't be long before she will be skipping again as she did last year. She just has absolutely no interest in school. She has a very part-time job.

We want to give her a chance to see how school will go here but if it doesn't work out, she needs to move out as we can no longer go on this way we are. We lay awake at nights worrying ourselves sick as to where she is and if she's okay. We took away her cell phone as she would never call us anyways to let us know where she was and if she was okay. It was only being used to call/text boyfriend all the time and we are not paying for that! We don't pay for anything else at this point....just food/shelter for when she is home.

So, what would you suggest in a case like this? I know if we ask her if she wants to move out, she would definitely say "yes" but she has no money. As I said, it could take months for her to save enough money for what it would take to even rent an apartment for one month. Jobs are very hard to come by here right now and she is lucky to even have the one she has but she definitely does not make enough to move out...even if she had a few roommates. I don't think we can wait this out if she doesn't attend school. Our health is definitely suffering from all this child has been putting us through. We both feel much resentment towards her as she just does not care how she is affecting us. She just calls us "freaks" because we have rules. Her boyfriend has no rules. His dad left him & his brother (both teens) home alone all summer long and when he is home, he could care less where he is at or what he is doing. So, this is how our daughter thinks we should be. Not a chance of that happening so we butt heads all the time over this. But, now we have had enough and are ready for her to move out because she is gone all the time now. At least if she moved out, we would know where she was staying. We just need to know how to get this process going sooner rather than later if she chooses not to attend school. We don't want to have this carry on for months as we know we can't take it anymore.

My Out-of-Control Daughter

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