Online Parent Support Chat

15.9.10

Daughter Problems

My husband and I were away for the past 3 days. Our teen was staying at her sister and brother-in-law's. At some point, either after school or during a school day, she came home and brought her boyfriend with her. She knows that we have the rule that she is not allowed to have anyone over while we are away. We had everything totally cleaned before we left as we are trying to sell our house and there was to be one or two showings while we were gone. She knew this as well. Anyways, when we got home, we found that her bed had been slept in and she had used our jacuzzi tub in our ensuite. She wasn't very discreet about putting things away but it was very obvious that there had been two people in the tub as she had two bath pillows in there (I had only left one in the tub when I left). She had stayed overnight at her sister's again last night as we got home very late. I picked her up this a.m. to give her a ride. I just asked her where she stayed while we were away. She said at her sister's (I will double check that one out) and then I asked her if she had been to the house while we were gone. She said she was and I asked if she had anyone over. She told me she had her boyfriend come over after school one day. I told her we were not happy about that as she knew the rule on that one. I told her we would be changing the door code from now on when we went away and she would not be getting it. She keeps saying "I'm 17" and she got so made when I told her she couldn't have the code when we were gone. Then I asked her about the tub. She said she had a bath there herself (never has before). When I told her that we knew her boyfriend had been in there, too, she blew up at me and called me names and said "f... you" many times.

Her and her boyfriend had been invited to our niece's wedding in a couple of months. He would have to stay with us in the hotel room which we were not happy about to begin with but were willing to take him along. Then this happened and I told her the only way he would be allowed to come with us is if he comes and apologizes to us to our face for this episode. She then got so mad and said he wasn't even at our house after she had just told me he was. She threw her school books on the floor of my vehicle and slammed the door once we got to the school. I just drove off. Then I get a text from her basically telling me she wasn't lying and she was so mad at me because I don't believe her. She tells one lie after another all the time and we have caught her in so many of them. No, I don't believe her and don't trust her at all.

Can you please let me know how to handle this? I should have asked you before I spoke with her this a.m. but I was so upset with her and I wear my heart on my sleeve. She knew I was upset about something. I really have to work on the "poker face". I just get so hurt by her and she has me so worn down that I seem to have no reserve left.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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